Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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