Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
