i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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