sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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