I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
only you would photoshop your dick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
