I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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