Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they're like a gay fantastic four
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
