Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
