Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
