the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
