just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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