Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
