Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
