he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
