Redeem this text for a blowjob
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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