Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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