I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
