I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
