She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
