3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
