is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
