please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
