So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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