just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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