On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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