Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
