he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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