I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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