Say something about gay babies.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
