I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
