I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
