I wish I only lived at night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
