When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
