Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
