Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You took a bar mat shot.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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