she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
