4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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