I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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