She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I need water and some morals
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
