I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it glows. i had to have it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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