i need an iv and a liver transplant
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
