is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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