I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
