Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if only i could text you this smell
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
