i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
