would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
