Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
