remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
