Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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