Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
